“We speak with our voices but we communicate with our whole .”

Non-verbal communication (NVC) occurs when we look at another person and they look at us. When a person speaks, the receiver tries to match the NVC with the words. If the verbal and non-verbal communications are congruent, we tend to relax, trust, believe, etc. If incongruent, we tend to distrust, doubt, suspect.

Types of non-verbal communication

Static: those factors which do not tend to change during the encounter

facial patterns physique
voice clothes
spectacles make-up, hair style

Dynamic: those factors which may change as the encounter continues

orientation distance
posture gesture
bodily movement bodily contact
gaze direction facial expression
tone of voice rate, amount and fluency of speech

Uses of non-verbal communication

The Expression of Emotion

The main agents of expressing emotion are:
 FACE - mouth, eyebrows, facial movement
 EYES - gaze, pupil dilation
 GESTURE, POSTURE AND TONE OF VOICE

Communication of Interpersonal Attitudes

We use NVC to show our attitude towards other people. We can demonstrate non verbally such attitudes as:
 AFFILIATION
 REJECTION
 SEXUAL ATTRACTION
 AGGRESSION
 DOMINANCE
 SUBMISSION

Women tend to be more effective at sending and receiving such information. We are generally accurate in knowing who likes and dislikes us, but we are not so good at recognising dominance or submissiveness.

Sending information about personality

In social behaviour, each person wants to advertise his own personality and receive information from others so that he can determine which social contacts are fruitful and which are to be avoided. We send information about:
 PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS - by stressing our better features
 ROLE AND SOCIAL POSITION - so that we can obtain a ''fit'' with other people we meet
 TRAITS - by demonstrating whether we are extrovert, dominant etc.

Support of verbal communication

i) The words spoken (CONTENT). The language carries information which may or may not be understood by the other person. Understanding will depend on both (ii) (iii).

ii) The “rules of the game” (ROLES). There are basic rules to follow - both people must speak in the same language, and there are less obvious rules like how far apart people should stand or the amount of eye contact. If the rules are broken, the communication can break down.

iii) The feelings involved (PROCESS). Each person has feelings during a conversation. Feelings of being ‘railroaded’ being bored, or being excited. Control and understanding of these emotions will benefit the success of communication.

Attitudes Communicated Non-Verbally

Attitude Actions Attitude Actions
Openness Open hands
Unbuttoned coat Cooperation Open hands
Sitting on edge of chair
Hand to face gestures
Unbuttoning coat
Tilted head
Defensiveness Arms crossed on chest
Legs over chair arm while seated
Sitting in armless chair reversed
Crossing legs
Fist-like gestures
Pointing index finger
Karate chops Reassurance Touching
Pinching flesh
Chewing pen/pencil
Thumb over thumb rubbing
Touching back of chairs entering room
Biting fingernails
Hands in pockets
Evaluation Hand to face gestures
Head tilted
Stroking chin
Peering over glasses
Taking glasses off - cleaning
Glasses earpiece in mouth
Pipe smoker gestures
Getting up from table - walking
Putting hand to bridge of nose Confidence Steepling
Hands in back-authority position
Back stiffened
Thumbs in coat pockets with thumbs out
Hands on lapels of coat
Suspicion
Not looking at you
Arms crossed
Moving away from you
Sideways glance
Feet/body pointing towards exit
Touch/rub nose
Rubbing eye(s)
Buttoning coat - drawing away Territorial dominance Feet on desk
Feet on chair
Leaning against/touching object
Placing object in a desired space
Elevating oneself
Cigar smoking
Hands behind head leaning back
Readiness Hands on hips
Hands on mid thigh when seated
Sitting on edge of chair
Arms spread gripping edge of table/desk
Moving closer
Sprinter's position Nervousness Clearing throat
‘Whew’ sound
Cigarette smoking
Picking/pinching flesh
Fidgeting in chair
Hands covering mouth while speaking
Not looking at the other person
Tugging at pants while seated
Jingling money in pockets
Tugging at ear
Wringing of hands